When you pretend to not notice your crush at the party.... 👀 don’t lie, we’ve all done it. “Sullivan who?!”
Where’s the filter that makes my laundry look folded?! 😜post vacation reality. Send coffee and maids. K thanks ✌🏻✨ #reallife
“Here’s the thing honey, it’s gonna take saying no. I don’t want you to get so caught up doing everything that you do nothing well. There are going to be a list of things you can’t do, things you’ll have to say no to, so you can do the things you MUST do. What are those things? It’s easy to think the road to something is lined with easy “yeses”. Yes, I choose this again today. Yes, I will work at this. Yes, I can do that. I’m learning it’s actually paved by handpicked “no’s”. Much like paving a cobblestone road by hand, the way is built by intentionally wiggling awkward, weighty no’s into one another and choosing to not root them back up. Instead of to-do lists maybe you need to-don’t lists. Just maybe.” A little note I wrote down for myself, I thought I’d share here.
Aaaaand we’re back! Feels good to be back in my routine, up by 6, making coffee, meal planning, getting groceries, sneaking in work and lots of loads of sandy laundry between naps. I never used to be a routine person, but I’ve found having structure lets me thrive and off-load unnecessary stress. All in all, there’s no place like home and I’m so glad to be back. But keeping my beach hair one last day 😏🏝✨
Marriage after parenthood— means never really ever getting everyone into one picture. It means embracing mess. Admitting you don’t have all the answers. Realizing that you need to be more intentional than ever at expressing love to each other. It means going on date nights or finally getting a moment alone and not really being sure what to say because you haven’t had a moment to process your own life in ages. It means looking up for your partner to smile at you meaningfully every time your child does something unbelievably cute. Or sometimes it means collapsing into bed for a nap after being up all night with your sick baby, and navigating doctors offices in another country, Google translating the antibiotic instructions and looking at each other and saying “Good job” before falling asleep. Sometimes I miss the simplicity and freedom of our pre-baby marriage. The ability to hop in the car and go on midnight drives listening to Sleeping At Last and talking about everything. Or the ability to fully focus my attention on just one other human. But most of the time I don’t miss it. I love being a team. I love figuring out— often through trial and error and tears!— how to care for our tiny bear. I love laying in bed at the end of the day talking about him and showing each other the pictures and videos we took of him. I love getting to grow into parents TOGETHER and realizing again and again how right we were to pick one another. Just super grateful.
I 💯 married up. Love ya @chrisrend
“Mom bod.” // This trip has been the first time I’ve been in a bathing suit since having a baby and honestly I was intimidated. I felt trapped between this weird space of not feeling quite like myself physically and yet feeling guilty about feeling any body “shame” period. #feminist lol. Just being honest 🤷🏻♀️ But this vacation I decided I’m not going to care. Every time I catch myself thinking about my body I just stop myself and say “It doesn’t matter. You are lovely, you’re here to have a good time. Don’t let what other people think about you ruin these memories with your family.” And push them out. I pushed them out on the beach last night as we watched the sun set over the ocean, sand hugging my legs and stomach. I ignored those nasty thoughts when I laid out this morning, feeling the warm sun on my arms and face. And honestly I’ve had such a good time. It makes me sad to think of all the times I’ve ruined memories that actually matter thinking about things that don’t matter at all. I keep repeating this quote by Anne Lamott like freaking scripture because life is worth living!!! “Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you're 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn't go swimming in those warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It's going to break your heart. Don't let this happen.” Hope all of you with big comfortable tummies out there do some living today— screw the rest 😜😘😘🏝🙌🏼✨
Beach Bear in Cancun. 🏝🐻
Working on my @bymariandrew instagrammable vacation bingo. Consider this my “never leaving” post 😜🌴
I know it’s cheesy but I had to write this down today. Been playing a negative self-talk loop to myself as I dream up a new project I’m launching this year. I’m scared to be vulnerable, scared to be raw, scared of being a fraud. And then I realized, yeah there are going to be people who won’t like what I’m going to do, but I don’t want to be one of them. I want to be my biggest cheering section, because the world will always have a little hate to spare. I don’t need to worry about that. So whatever it is you’re up to today, count me in your cheering section. We’ve got this. ✨💪🏼
Hey summer, we’re ready for ya. (Also, staying on brand with our @rendcollective fam and all the bubbles.)
“It’s easy to feel alone in doubt because when it comes to faith, like everything in our lives, we’re always most eager to talk about the highlight reel— that conference transformed me! That word shook me! That encounter was real! That verse made me feel closer to God! I get it, it’s natural. It’s the same instinct that makes me want to post a selfie after a workout, it says “Hey look at the really hard thing I just did! It makes me feel awesome!” It’s not bad, it’s just not the whole story. But sharing the whole story is scary because of the shame culture we’ve created around doubt. We’re taught to be leery of people who question the Bible, we burn the questioners at the stake, call them heretics, excommunicate them, stop selling their books or asking them to speak at conferences. And in the process we’ve hedged off a very important and holy space that is necessary for faith to thrive— the wrestling ring of faith. Instead of finding the hand of Jesus lifting us up, we find his people shoving us down and out.” // full post on DOUBT in the link in my bio. ✨
Funny how quick we are to compare ourselves to others. Went out for a long run for my marathon training and about halfway through I saw a girl sprinting up the hill I was running down. My first instinct was to quicken my pace, to show that I too could run fast if I wanted. But I quickly stopped myself. I had no idea what her work out entailed today— maybe she was just trying to make the most of the hour she had off before going into work? Maybe she was training for speed. It didn’t really matter, all that mattered was that I was 9 miles in and had 7 miles to go, so to burn through my energy reserves would be so dumb. It was important for me to stay at my own pace and stick to my training. But then I thought how often we do that in life. We compare our marathons to others’ sprints. We compare our middles to others’ beginnings visa versa. I get it, apparently it’s my first instinct. But I don’t want to compromise my mission for the sake of keeping up appearances. Or empty my tank pursuing someone else’s pace. It isn’t worth it.
So if you’ve been following me on here for awhile you know how I feel about Instagram partnerships...they aren’t my personal style. But having said that I get a lot of questions about what skin products I use, where stuff in my house is from, etc. So I’ve created an Amazon affiliate page where you can shop my favorite things if you want. They are all things that I’ve either spent my own money on, or things that are on my wish list✨😍. Amazon doesn’t always have the best deals on certain brand items so where possible I’ve gone in and commented on where you can get items cheaper other places 😏 I hope this helps! I’ll be updating it regularly (especially my Books section 📔 because 🤓🤓🤓) so hit the link in my bio and have a look! #AmazonInfluencer
Reunited. // Sometimes the easiest way to get through the longer tours is just not think about it. Don’t count down the days. Don’t think “what if”. Just allow yourself to focus on the next thing, and be content with doing the next thing. But now that this three month tour is over I didn’t realize I was holding my breath. This afternoon we all napped and I didn’t feel anxious about “not making the most” of our time together. We just rested. Don’t get me wrong, I feel so grateful for the privilege of getting to do what we do. Because it really is a privilege. But today the luxury of doing “normal” is everything. Happy Tuesday friends!
So I get a lot of DMs from you all about this whole Christian Feminist thing. Most of them nice, some of them...less nice. 😜 But the most common question is “But how do I know if I’m a feminist?” So here’s my version of a Buzzfeed quiz to find out if you’re a Christian Feminist! 1. Do you believe that God does not discriminate by sex, gender, race, economic status, age, or anything else when he gives his Spirit to believers? Choose Yes or No. 2. Do you believe that God’s plan for you is to live in the fullness of who he made you to be, with no limits on how you should love, lead and serve others? Choose Yes or No. 3. Do you believe he thinks men are better than women who he equally created in HIS IMAGE? Choose Yes or No. I believe if you’re a woman, knowing how you answer these questions MATTERS. Because they impact how you perceive your capacity to live in the fullness of who you were created to be. In my opinion, Christian feminism isn’t about being better than men or ignoring the obvious differences. It’s about liberating women from sexist lies that try to keep them from living in the FULLNESS OF WHO THEY WERE MADE TO BE. To me the potential is so exciting. We have a unique perspective on the world, on social issues, on economics, on justice, on matters of family that has the potential to heal and restore. This is why I’m so passionate about this. This is why I keep coming back to this topic. Because as cheesy as it sounds, I believe God has a plan to heal the world through women. So we gotta answer these questions and figure out what we’re going to do with the answers. 🌿✨🙃 #christianfeminist #badchristianwomen
“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” - Winnie the Pooh. // I read somewhere years ago that looking out into the distance ahead of you releases endorphins. But even though I haven’t been able to find that article again, I like to imagine a thousand little endorphins cheering when I look up from my phone, or whatever is in front of me to see the big picture. Cant help but feel widening our scope is good for our souls too, helps us see others, include their perspective, understand how their reality differs from ours. Anyway, these are the things I think about on our walks. 😜🙈
Living my most millennial life, one almond milk matcha latte and pair of @adidas shoes at a time. #basicmomsofinstagram #notimetobeoriginal
I didn’t know how much my friendships would change once I became a mom. If I’m being honest I often feel bad about the kind of friend I have become: I have less time, am more distractible, often have to cancel last minute if Danny has a cold or skipped a nap, do my best to listen between trying to shove spoonful of avocado into a toddler’s mouth, and invite friends to glamorous dates at the park where we sometimes get to finish a full sentence. I’m doing my best, but sometimes it’s hard to feel like you’re being a good friend and a good mom. Which is why I’ve been so grateful for @lenea.mitchell. Not sure what I would have done this last year and a half without her! She’s the friend who sees my needs and meets them without me asking. She invites herself over for dinner because she knows it’s hard to go out with a baby. She always suggests hanging in environments that are child friendly because she knows it’s hard (and expensive!) to find a babysitter. She’s never annoyed when plans fall through or when we have to stop 90 times on our walks to keep Danny from taste testing pebbles. 😜🙈 And today she offered to come over and hang out with Danny so I could work out. So even though she’s not on Instagram right now I just have to brag about her for a minute because she’s the friend I didn’t know I would need in this beautiful messy season. ✨ (obviously Danny is obsessed with her too 😏)
This view outside my front window has literally been the best first thing to see every morning. Welcome spring, we’re ready. 🌿🌼